Expired, Expired, Expired

Proud of the new accomplishment but disheartened to find everything needed for more creations had expired two years ago.   It was actually two years ago that my sweet husband “the chef” drove his John Deere tractor to heaven. I’m an artist not a cook, was my excuse in the past as the smoke alarm sounded on a regular basis. I invented blackened and it’s just the way I like it, charred. Well, that’s not the truth at all; it was the inevitable outcome when the cook finds standing in front of the stove boring.

 My enjoyment could be found in table cloths, dollies, candles, flowers, dishes, silverware, stemware and the placement of the finished product on the plates. It was all about the look not the preparation.  So Dennis would cook and then step back from the stove and say, “it’s all yours” and that’s the part I loved.

 For the better part of the past two years I have defrosted my refrigerator freezer (an old refrigerator) weekly; as I make frequent visits; expecting the cooking ferry to leave something special some day, but no such luck.  I have this little snowman (Hallmark) that lives in the refrigerator and it has four sayings when the light comes on, “Is it cool in here or is it just me”;”Here in the frig where it is nice and cool there is one very simple  rule once you find what you’re looking for do me a favor and shut the door”,” Hey close the door your letting out all the cold”, and “ You again I’m going to have to get a lock for that door”.  But, then this to was another voice-- besides my own, in the cottage, perhaps I wanted to hear that voice more than find something new in the refrigerator, perhaps.

 I was proud of my most recent culinary triumph the “Swiss steak” ensemble now divided in four single serving containers, living in the freezer with the quiche quarters, prepared Monday. There is hope for me, actually; like the little red steam shovel with Mike Mulligan there is always hope! Not everything is expired around here; there are some interesting changes cooking in the mind of this artist, I’d call that inspired!

PROCRASTINATION PROTECTION

I had the task to complete, but knowing the heartache it would bring I protected myself by procrastination.   I locked the tool room door, the room was not in the order he would have kept it in, due to others searching out what they needed and not replacing it accordingly.  The tornado of nondiscrimination had turned tool boxes upside down, showering nails, screws, washers, nuts, bolts, drill bits, staples, razor blades and more over the bench top.   Add to the mix some type of liquid that must have been tipped leaving a brown pool of goo that looked like maple syrup, never tempted to take a taste I recalled the container of mustard I had found earlier.  This was his work room, the carpenter’s project room where skill from years of experience made light work of intricate plans or repairs. 

We had a small Mom & Pop Construction business for a number of years, something the entire family of three worked in.   What a team, he knew how to do anything almost, the unique things I would toss in an idea and together we would come up with some great answers to customer’s needs.   The mailbox that looked like the golf home, everyone wanted that because it was special, but how to get the terracotta tile roof look on the small (not so small) mailbox was my quick idea of cutting white plastic pipe to the size, glue and paint.  It was perfect and so our projects went.   My favorite was matching the wallpaper on the light switch covers so no one could find the switch, that was my job!   Final inspection was my job, now when I walk into a new home or business I can’t believe what other professionals call finished.   But, that was a life gone now and my construction talent could never hold a candle to his work, but it will get me by in a pinch.

Early start 7:30 AM at my church- setting up for coffee hour between services, than the service 8:30 to 9:30AM, coffee 9:30 to 10:00 AM Bible study 10:00 to 11:00 am.   Make one stop on the way home to pick up last minute soda, arrive at home and make a snack for myself, check on everything being ready for volunteers.   The volunteer youth group from the Lenoir City Church had arrived, with energy only the young can claim which was evident as the line formed and boxes flowed from the work room on to tables set up in the front room.   Well there was some laughing and a few, ”woops sorry” comments, only one light finger tip cut , singing with the radio (station of their choice) and no problems.  They made short work of clearing the entire room making tool identification much easier.   With some hot dogs, chips and soda the job was done, to that degree.   They took a great amount of unused energy back with them, wow I don’t remember but I can only guess we were like that at 11, 15, and 17 too.

With that job done to a degree, I did a quick change to meet friends at a concert that would bring me home after 10:00 PM much too late to do any more work on the tools.  I pushed the reality out of my mind and had a great time with other widow friends.  As I drove up the driveway I saw the retreats center (a large monitor barn) and knew that I would have to start the rest of the job Monday.  I went in the cottage, was greeted by Tiger, Jazzy and Cuddles (two cats and a dog) everyone had a treat and a movie was slipped into the DVD player for noise as I prepared for bed.  My prayers included a plea that I may have the strength to do the job that needed to be done, I knew it would hurt, I pulled up the covers, felt a heavy pounce on the end of the bed where Tiger would spend the night and went to sleep.

I knew the task may cause heartache and tears, but I  had courage once again to move forward in my life- with God at my side!